5 months in to my Kundalini journey and I'm feeling lost.

Alan: "The ego is so clever and can pop in anywhere".

You should consider three frequencies - infinity is the unity; one is the person; and zero is a subatomic particle. If you are a mind vibrating in those three, and making sense of these, either by philosophy or sensitive abilities, you have to see that each of them has a function. An electron cannot avoid forming patterns of electricity, you cannot avoid being a person and the collective or God cannot avoid being those things.

In energodynamic balance, on each frequency - or you can divide them into 7 or more chakras -, there must be strong will. In their simplest and initial form, each frequency is separate, and then, materialism, egoism and idealism are bad, because they are separate and not grounded. For a person, initially represented as ego, it's important to overcome it's tendency to focus on frequency 1. They must watch the nature in it's dynamics, and contemplate on heavens, for their all-encompassing. For a person, who does this by philosophy, they must have rational mind for materials and vision or altruistic perspective on some jobs and situations, representing the heaven. Still, the ego is represented in this final solution, as it cannot be avoided - when they can altruistically share their money, perhaps in special condition or for their children, the first person you can take care of is you. In zen buddism, one might talk about "self-love", and there are some videos with monks explaining this.

When you do not have higher ego, structured dynamics, which is about to bring about your place in higher society where you are driving, given large-enough percentage of people enlightened like you, in your neighborhood and company or government institution, you need a conscious drive to be a person, which would fit there. Ego, it has also a tendency to fight for your social position - not only what you are, but also what you represent in society. It has a competitive drive in capitalist environment (or duty in communist, honour in aristocratic environment). When your "higher" instinct would blend into the whole, and you would make moves unstoppably, unaware of yourself and aware of the others, or where you yourself are nothing but a zero on infinite glass, you would go just through some external situations, until you are depleted and unable to continue. Those ones, who are depleted, lacking the ego, all together form the whole itself. So, logically, the karma is an interplay of the whole, ones and it's subatomic particles, and each frequency, in each position, should yield "true" as it's logical value, being possible and the most, which is possible. So if we assume living in one Universe, with one, unified logic - a discrete criterion to be possible, and then, higher, we imply the law of karma, where each part and the whole are in interplay to enforce each others.

You are yourself naturally the solution you solve, you represent the logic you are about to solve. You cannot decide that your good logic has been solved, if the solution does not affect you. There is only a small statistical consideration as it's inefficient to be only equal. One cannot say your logic is solved if you are not solved. It's naturally pure to keep your own life in your struggles for your higher missions, which can be contributions to others, even paid contributions as you keep the wheels of karma/money rotating, then. You can give it away if you are the statistical part of the distribution of your philosophy, or you can be rich related others, being another statistical part of equally equipped people - this is the luck and the sacrifice, that good philosophy still serves people on statistical basis; you need to also have the left wing to keep this statistics safe and balanced, bringing back the outliers and asking something from your own rich, to support or invest. Left wing, it can be seen as precise calculation, if you assume that it provides some money back to it's statistical basis, leaving you more experimental and less in need for stability. It can also represent the higher chakras, or infinity-frequency, where they make you united, moving in one formation called civilization (or tribe, or utopia). Right wing is the real position you can serve with what is given, here and now. This is also calculable.

Essentially, your ego is working in all three areas - the material (you have pride for your socks, you notice when others have similar ones); the personal (you want to keep your own space and ability) and the social (you play the social games). Initially, we after we are born and grown up, we get this ego as a wholistic combination, and even the left-side should be represented in how the ego seeks pride and shares motivation. Such people are able to survive in society, but they do not go far from their own box, and they do not develop it fast - usually, they come last after you in innovation of anything.

The people in certain phase are overcoming the ego, and what they do:

• They observe the ego to see it as one of many possibilities.

• They suppress the ego, demanding it to come under other things.

The ego can not be broken or overcome, as it's our base survival instinct. This is healthy to spend some time in temple, monastery or forest, working on your own and getting some food and clothes perhaps as help, but ultimately we cannot win this if we are not able to play the whole society; from factories to big unions. We want to create the whole culture, and this contains many pieces one alone cannot handle. Here, a person needs to choose their roles, and then carefully follow them, and they need to get to higher standards of living, by their own means - this means, for each function of ego, they need to have a corresponding function.

Once you are up to your higher mind, you can see, as in the harmonic (last) bardo, your own meaning and essence as part of the harmonic whole. Then, you can make a conscious implication to keep yourself alive and on good pace - acceleration or growth. You play the social games to create intellectual, financial and governmental circles, where your abilities (pride) and efforts would matter. Your initial ego is as a wholistic union, inseparable - the buddhist quality to develop is to "discern". You suppress this ego only to demand it to let the other parts of you live, but once you see them living, you have more muscles - now, you make the ego conscious, and you re-evoke it in it's new condition; it will find out it was always this, but now it knows each function and the function does not kill the whole. You can call this superego based on Jungian tradition, which is the socially-aware ego.

You can not make fasting an universal quality of life - you fast to make yourself stronger, but you keep the life circle going.

Binaural, I listened to these on repeat but have a listen to a few and find ones that resonate with you https://youtu.be/4wtG01ymIjE?si=gRVvjTznKoxWtAMv & https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4wtG01ymIjE&ab_channel=ZenLifeRelaxalso & https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GbKkMCGLDpw&t=7s&ab_channel=GreenredProductions-RelaxingMusicalso check out Nature Healing Society xx

Hi Shaye,

For some reason can't reply to your thread. I also suffered from digestive issues and took me a while to repair but it's possible. I used a supplement called ION Gut & Microbiome, which was superb in helping....it's from Dr Zach Bush and is essentially purified water and a 60 million year old soil extract and also I started structuring my water using an Analemma water wand. Aside, from that...I had alot of stagnant energy in that part of my body so I had to start moving my body a bit more vigorously and incorporate cardio, jumprope, also did a very long bike ride that cleared out alot for me (this was later on in my awakening), breath of fire breathwork...these are all things that helped me...I kept getting the download to 'start firing up the engine again'...get the energy, blood flowing again so the body could do the repairs that were needed....

I hope that is helpful to you, you're not alone in this.

Hugs,

Natali

Hi Shaye,

It's good to hear you've worked out you're experiencing Kundalini and it sounds very, very challenging for you. I think we all understand how confusing it can be at times. And yes, I totally understand the feeling of isolation that comes with having no one to talk to who would understand. Connecting with people that do understand, was very important and helpful for me and it still is. I hope this community will help you on your way, as it has for me.

I echo Joe's comments about finding a teacher you can really connect with and trust. Use all your discernment to judge if this is the best teacher for you. Do not defer you power to others based on their spiritual CV. A deep level of trust is essential and be very honest with yourself. When you find the right one you will know, deep down. If you're not sure, ask your higher self for guidance.

In my experience, finding the right teacher is settling, calming, you should feel on the right path. There should be no doubt.

Regarding dieties, this is very personal of course. I my case, Kali came to me. I experience myself as Kali. She is me and much greater than me. I am humbled by her and she is the life source within. I pray to her as I am her and she is so much more than I can comprehend.

For me, the dieties we see are the higher parts of ourselves. Seeing them/hearing them is our higher selves connecting with our more limited selves.

When I ever I have felt threatened, I visualise/imagine I'm full of divine, white light. This light is the highest, most powerful and most divine vibration, It cannot be hurt or attacked in any way, all beings bow to this light. We all have this within us, there are no exceptions. I focus within and make the white light shine as bright as I can. Glowing brighter and brighter, stronger and stronger. Emanating from the heart, it is love, pure love. All beings want this and bow to it.

And re the ego. It's not to be silenced. The ego is an essential part of our human experience. We need a healthy ego, not a silent one. Only a healthy ego can be transcended. All our thoughts can be heard, there are not bad thoughts and all thoughts can be met with unconditional love and forgiveness. Be kind to your ego, love it, hold it and cherish it. there are "no bad parts", just different parts of us.

Good luck Shaye. Check out the support page is you feel the need. And as Alan's says the monthly zoom sessions are a great way to connect.

thanks, Nigel

Try to be near to running water(public fountains) and observe if you feel better. If yes,most likely there is an imbalance to your system,caused by kundalini,which is a common thing.

Upset stomach and digestive problems(fire element imbalance)

Be very careful of what you eat.. Synthetic foods,chemicals will lower your vibrations,atracting parasitic entities that feed from your energies..

Use dry bay leaves into water,leave the mix for 6-7 hours and use the water ti the areas you feel are out of balance.. (Chakras,head,third eye)etc..

There is not much you can do to stop or even slow down the process.

I was sent angelics,energetic healings,shamanic extractions,etc..

Nothing could stop it....

Just do your best to stay sane and in one piece

Hi Shaye,

I agree with Joe's advice regarding being discerning about who you have as a spiritual teacher. We are in such a fragile and vulnerable state as our bodies recalibrate and open to new dimensions and frequencies. I also removed alcohol and meat from my diet in my early phases of my awakening, this was a 'request' from. my body...

Ensure you do as much as you can to stay grounded, time in nature if that's accessible to you, breathwork (gentle) , and whatever movement you have the energy for to help you move the energy around. For myself personally, yin yoga, shamanic dance, slow walking in the initial phases was about all I could manage. I spent a significant amount of time vibrating on my sofa, listening to music 😂 particularly binaural music, was very soothing for my nervous systems.

I also experienced psychic attacks, so you really want to keep yourself safe and in calm, clean environments...mantras were not part of my early practice but if it feels good to you, then trust that.

I found that the point at which I surrendered to and flowed with the energy instead of trying to fix it, things became easier (but still not 'easy') for me. I spent alot of time in isolation, unless I had to work, luckily I just had short term projects and in hindsight, doing creative work helped me to stay grounded as well.

Sending you a big hug,

Natali

Hi Shaye, welcome to our community. Peer support has proven to be of significant help to those going through the kundalini awakening process. My only comment is for you to be diligent in your selection of a spiritual teacher. Guiding individuals who are in a spiritual emergence or a spiritual emergency process requires a unique background and special training to offer the proper guidance. If your current spiritual teacher is such a person, that is a blessing. However, if this person has not personally undergone a complete kundalini awakening and has not had training in assisting others in this process, any guidance they suggest may not be appropriate for you. Just a word of caution.

Hi Shaye,

Thank you for sharing.

I feel that our journeys are all very personal and different, and that there are few ultimate "shoulds".

For example for someone on their journey it might well be helpful to abstain from alcohol and other mind altering substances, and for someone else at least moderate consumption will be fine.

I cannot comment on many of your experiences as I have not personally had them. I had initially a very challenging kundalini awakening but after the initial few months it became far more gentle and I feel grateful to have had this positive gift.

..............Silence the ego.....though. Well this is a challenging one! The ego is so clever and can pop in anywhere. A few things I find useful. Acceptance.....accepting what I am going through.....concentrating on intention not outcome...and having a distance on my thoughts.....questioning myself.

Also it is useful to have a self to navigate the world....but we do not need to totally identify with it.

I hope all goes well for you.

You might find the monthly open Zoom support sessions useful....they are on the last Friday of the month and details are posted in the Forum in KC Events and in the newsletter.

Yes christ hardly shows up without some pagan gods. They seem to hang around together, as usual.

I don't know what crucial for you, you have chosen your teachers - but personally, I do a lot of inside job, and I do not use the right posture and the right physical condition; I don't even avoid the noise. Because, when I was a child I decided to learn to do all the magic without any tool - so that I would be doing it even if I was dead. Because for all this, you need wealth and your mind does not focus purely, when it's distracted - but Buddhas original meditation was to learn to do it no matter what the obstacles, things you see in meditation.

For me, the external condition used to be highly symbolical, and I have always seen the meaning in the rituals from creating the symbolic, metaphysical environment from materials, colors, lights and sounds. Still it seems there is a very fundamental connection between our postures, physical conditions, and spiritual capabilities - indeed, if you need outside help to balance you, it could be crucial.