Working with plant medicines AFTER kundalini awakening

Thank you for your thoughtful comment dear

Once upon a time, I did all kinds of drugs, but now I only want to do Ayahuasca one time to hafe some connection with the afterlife - I don't feel very good physical conditioning to do all the drugs safely now, and I am very interested in empowering my meditation and toolless path. They say in England you can legally take part of Ayahuasca ritual, for example - I am very interested in the proper and legal ritual, because it's said to be dangerous without proper treatment, or simply giving you a bad trip. I am also interested in doing it only once to learn the experience and not depend on the plant itself; what I cannot learn is probably unimportant inside the life, with this identity.

About experiences of plants after awakening, I participated in Peyote ritual of Native American Church, also legal in many places in certain conditions; sacred tobacco, which smells and has effects like one blessing drug burned in Christian churches, bringing a moment of feeling of bless, was also used, and three different blessed foods were offered in the end, and from the resonance of the food it was clear something was definitely having an effect there. In the end, we went to Native American sauna to have a drum session there. Shaman also did something mystical and unexplainable for me, and I enjoy those things.

For enlightenment, it was good and natural force and the effects on my mentality lasted at least for years, connecting the experience with some positive events. I liked to watch the fire playing, hear the drums and have active awareness of the natural forces, and indeed the forces themselves are very much present in the tipi tent of Native Americans. I do not know any negative side-effects, personally. I was invited by one taxi driver with my ex girlfriend, who also enjoyed (she had a few very bad experiences with Ayahuasca, or one, I don't remember, trying this alone with a friend; so I decided not to do this alone, but she has bad experiences with cannabis as well, so I don't know where she gets the good experiences).

I think when taking drugs, you should not forget that even when they feel weaker, the meditations and other exercises or practices of life, which make us more conscious, lead to deeper force of stable, lasting and ongoing enlightenment, giving us the power to evoke our minds ourselves. Tools are maybe natural, but in my life I avoid any help - when I meditate, I do not care so much about the noise, position, candles or figures of Buddha, and the official organizations, which guide us through meditation with help and support. I am more interested to make my mind to wake up itself, and to make this force so deep and present that it would happen also after death, which is an interesting and important part of our lives, seen from higher. Every time we connect the parts in us, which are dying and reborning, and raise in conditions, which do not support it, we take a little step towards immortality, which means either remembering our past lives or having physical and social effects going on more strongly after we die, and ourselves more balancing with the deeper reason of ourselves, when we are still alive. Death and birth of every thought, emotion and process of life, they are part of the fractal of our life and as we cure the process there, we also cure the bigger fractal, where we can be seen dead and reborn. Deep force, which can be there in unconditioned way, even if it's only a long-lasting power of our words, which would hit us in next lifetime or some similar person who would satisfy our desire to live by living the same priorities, comes from bringing the contemplation into levels, where chemical, physical and social support does not matter; this is where the hermits are strong, but where one can avoid too much conditioning. Drugs can give us lessons, but it's the strength of our soul to not depend on them for any long-lasting condition, but to become independent. Excess of food, physical requirements for meditation place, drugs and dependence on the minds of others - only to keep us in condition; they are the dependencies we need to avoid - Buddha invited to be calm and go deeper not depending on experiences, which would irritate us or give us less chance. I can understand there are people, who become mentally or bodily dependent on the process of "being high" or "living normal", and I guess their bubble breaks in time, after death or in lifetimes. Drugs, once you use them many times, do not take you so high any more and they start to eat your vitality. Things we go through in meditation, they are less like power bombs, but more meaningful and having stable, growing, long-lasting effects, and creating Satoris, which raise our minds to be conscious of things and truth seen in meditation even when we stop. Drugs, naturally, create some kind of tunnels of heavy experience, which we can later forget; when we continue, they start eating our vitamins instead of being ones; and it's very hard work to get a permanent understanding and consciousness from them, compared to meditation. Also, drugs do not start their effects when we need those, without having a new drug, but meditations tend to make the mental states so deep that we would shift to peace, happiness, calmness or attention once we need it, naturally, once we studied this.

So in my current life I am very interested in energies coming from inside, with not much conditioning, and overcoming the mental states, which also remain after death or in next lives, or even contribute to my past lives and mental states of other people - after death, what remains is the Universe seeing hallucinations of our past lives, which need to be solved like ghosts, and having the big sensation of us in the harmony of the whole, such that reason is given for our next birth; this is the part of our causes of effects, which we are, and thus we have this experience. Getting deeper than this, minding our reason in universal harmony, as persons, and solving the "hallucinacions" we have of life, refeeling our experiences, and feeling the loss and pain of people, age and money, which left us; through all this, we can stabilize the creative source of our consciousness, which becomes deeper, standing there through the process of life and death. It's logical that death is even deeper obstacle than a noise, and to get your first cause stronger and impulsively creating the conscious experience and attention - you need to evoke this with less conditioning. Despite remembering some of my past lives, I am not very interested whether they exist, but in the philosophical sense of the thing - leaving out "me", "now" and "certanty", I want to meditate deeper into this creative process, so that it happens with less reasoning, and this is the floating wave of positive karma coming from me - whether the wave spreads through people, generations or the chain of rebirth of me, deepness of mind is what remains, and which my future reincarnations would feel along with future people, who might understand me and thus be a little bit of me, and other similar sources of reality from mind, which resonate the same thing. Ultimately, something is having a life experience in here, and this something would repeat in similar conditions - I might die, but then something is waving in the fractal so similar to me in it's identity, conditioning and being, that I would not say I am not feeling this. The same thing which formed something of me, definitely vibrates again and again - there is nothing special in this specific pattern of atoms connecting their oscillation continuously in time, rather my mind is some kind of condition, which repeats it's existence, in parts or in whole. Buddha stated that Karma is what is to be reborn, and in all the cycles, it will also pass to others, to future generations or reincarnations - now, to pass all this, the experience needs to be really deep and coming from nothing. When my good experience comes from nothing, it's an important thing and this frequency would be there forever, in one way or another. When I take it from outer source, I build a condition-based cycle, and for example it does not affect every person - if you do not, another would have a clear problem with a plant. Even your future reincarnation. Also, when you are dependent on your body, you cannot say it will flow on in what constitutes you and your likelihood.

So with drugs - yes there is an energy, but how to channel it out from the drugs? How to create continuous, independent consciousness in you, understand the effect instead of depending on it; how to convert it to art and engineering or life sciences other people can enjoy without taking the risks? Drugs are long way from this, where meditation or life practices are very close and leave it much more resonating in what is left from our mind, whatever it is - part of higher mind, specific resonance, resonance of this specific matter, resonance of your cause, or resonance of some constitution. There is conservation law of Matter, and fractal repetition pattern of it's structure; the matter is somehow connected to structure of our minds - it's hard to believe that there are no conservation laws for the mental awarenesses, which appear, or that they are always new with new identity. In all cases, what we do with our mind, flows through society and generations, however small our contribution. Believing in the conservation laws of unsolved karma and it's solutions, most fundamental and least unproven in Buddhism - definitely, we need the good karmic effects coming from deeper and requiring less conditioning, and we need to work through anything we achieved with tools and drugs so that we learn to recreate the good of it. Then, we pass the karma wherever it goes, and make the process stable, the process of forming what is higher. It's really hard to decide, whether we feel ourselves as parts or aspects of the whole, or as temporary structures of mind, but from all those philosophical aspects we can find that we need to make it deeper, so that it passes it all - death or passing to others, rebirth or reoccurence of our vibrations, and the different cycles of our lives, where we can see reincarnation of different identities.

Hi Sally,

Last year I had an intense KA and it was the use of smoked chacruna (dmt) that actually helped me to integrate. Hope that helps xx

This conversation between Tara Brach and Roland Griffiths may be of interest to you. Roland talks about his experience using psilocybin after decades of a meditation practice:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6F_VV-2mQPY&t=20s